Gala and wardrobe choices; dopamine; motivation to go out

As I pulled each sport jacket out from the back of the closet, they all had one thing in common. The layer of “pandemic” dust that covered the shoulders seemed to crawl up the hangars, as well. Honestly, I had forgotten about most of these jackets during several years of dressing down due to online meetings and minimal outside activities. Thankfully, those years are far behind us, although I read that thousands of people just recently died from the virus. On top of the virus and its related shut downs, I have an additional reason for not dressing up much anymore. Since my Parkinson’s diagnosis, I haven’t felt up to going out much, and when I did, I tended to dress casually to minimize the effort it took to get ready. Somehow, today was different.

We’re attending a fundraising gala tonight with a group of friends. When we went last year, it turned out to be great fun, even though I simultaneously dreaded going while anticipating the enjoyable evening. Today I’m experiencing the anticipation without the dread. Yay, progress! I was even inspired to “shop” my closet to see if I could kick up my look again, like the good old days. I started with one sweater—too big. The next sweater—pretty good, but it needs to be shaken to regain its youthful appearance. Jackets were either too long, too big in the chest, too heavy for the weather, or too springy. Even with all these limitations, I had a great time reclaiming my older wardrobe, and imagining the future possibilities. Jacket with no tie, that’s a good look. Jacket with patches on the elbow, yes, that’s very professorial. I like that look. The process went on until I finally made a decision for tonight.

I’ve written quite a bit in this space about the struggles I experience when there is a social engagement on the horizon. I always end up being glad I went, but I never seem to want to get ready and make the effort to go. Part of the reason for this is the inherent lack of dopamine in my system due to Parkinson’s Disease. This dopamine deficiency seems to be responsible for much of my reluctance to initiate just about anything.

Readers will note that I have devoted a good deal of space to the idea of replenishing dopamine, both naturally and pharmaceutically. I’m grateful for our gold standard medication for treating Parkinson’s, namely, Levodopa. I am also intrigued by behavioral research that directs us towards activities and habits to naturally increase our dopamine levels.

Just as I wrote yesterday that positivity begets more positivity, I believe I can apply that idea to activities. I continue to learn that enriching activities that we share with others who love us and whom we love, seem to multiply our emotional benefit exponentially. I am committed to going places and doing things, even though Parkinson’s makes it difficult to do so. I believe that the benefits are significant, well worth dressing up for!

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Day 96: November 3, 2023
Success!