Dr. Frankl; what matters; story about daughter's eyes and which one mattered

My wife and I often laugh about things that happened to us many years ago. We believe in maintaining a healthy sense of humor in the midst of what can often be trying days. When one is facing the daily challenges of a condition such as Parkinson’s, it’s easy to become consumed with the negative and forget about the good parts of life, especially those that cause us to laugh.

One day many years ago, our then high-school daughter was inflicted with what we thought to be pink eye. Her eye was exhibiting the usual appearance of pink eye, namely a bright pink color and lots of matter or “gunk” forming in her eye. (Being a non-medical type of doctor, I often resort to technical medical terms like “gunk” 😊) In order to procure a diagnosis and treatment for our daughter, I called her pediatrician and described the symptoms. The nurse I talked to was sure it was pink eye, and told me they would call in a prescription for drops. Our daughter, she said, was to apply the drops several times a day to the eye that “mattered”. Wait a minute, I laughed and asked jovially. “Don’t they both matter?”

Obviously, I knew what the nurse meant, yet it struck me as funny that she would describe one eye that “mattered.” Of course, both eyes matter, or are important and useful to a person. Both eyes brought value to our daughter in that they were necessary for her sight.

As I ponder this exchange in light of today’s consideration of Dr. Frankl’s ideas about bringing meaning to our lives, I have to ask myself what matters in my life, what helps me see my life clearly. Surely, there are things that bring meaning in the ways that Dr. Frankl suggested: what I bring to the world, what I take from the world, and the attitude with which I face adversity as I move through the world. We give gifts of ourselves to the world, we receive small and large amounts of joy each day just by showing up, and we can choose how to approach each day in light of our challenges.

Our soon-to-be son-in law has described his relationship with our daughter and grandson as bringing value to his life. Of course, we all feel that he has brought a great deal of value to our lives, as well! Although he has never explained his belief about value-adding, I understand it to mean that his life is more meaningful because of the relationship he has with our daughter and grandson. They “matter” to him and add “meaning”. This is a grand example of adding value, but we can extend it to daily interactions, as well. For example, our brief exchange with the barista in the morning can either add or subtract value. The 30 minutes of exercise we do in the morning can help us move better that day, thus bringing value to our lives. The painting or sunrise that encourages me to think deeply about anything has brought value to my life. Even if nobody else seems to benefit from this activity directly, there is still meaning that has been received. My life is better, my day is better, I have experienced more meaning and value, and I have more depth to offer to those whose paths I cross today.

The unexpected gifts in our lives seem to depend upon our attitude and receptiveness to the world around us. In order to receive the gifts that are in front of us each day, we need to tune our souls so we are receptive to them. How can we receive a gift that we can’t even identify as a gift in the first place? As I move through each day, I remind myself to love with expectation. I love the people I interact with, and expect those interactions to be positive. I expect good from the situations I encounter each day. I love each day and expect each day to be filled with blessings that add value and meaning to my life.

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Day 7: Aug. 6, 2023
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