Conversation with my brother; catastrophizing; Nephew’s trip to Thailand

My brother called me this morning. I always love to hear from my brothers, especially when it seems to be out-of-the-blue and a total surprise. He apologized for bothering me! “Don’t ever apologize for calling me,” I exclaimed. “What’s up?”

He was working on a timeline of places we had lived during college, and wondered if I could help him out with some specifics. Of course, I was happy to relive some of our “good old days” with him! When we finished reminiscing about 35 years of history, our conversation turned philosophical, as they usually do. I had asked about his son, who was midway into a 6-week trek through Thailand. Three weeks ago, my brother had been somewhat worried about his son’s undertaking this trip, as any concerned parent would be. However, as he relayed some of his son’s experiences, his voice lightened and he stated that he was much less concerned now. After all, any of us could meet our demise anywhere at any time: in Thailand, around the corner, crossing a street in front of our house. It simply does no good to worry about things that might happen, but probably won’t. Our worry will not protect us from bad experiences; rather, it seems to tarnish the good experiences once we get to them.

Several weeks ago, our pastor centered his sermon on this very idea. Catastrophizing, he explained, is the inherent tendency we have to expect bad things to happen, or to expect situations to turn out badly, even in light of the probability that they will work out just fine. We might avoid going on a trip because we’re worried about a possible crash on the interstate. We might develop a fear of attending a social event because we worry that it will be an awkward situation and we won’t have anyone to talk to. Or, we might dissuade our child from taking a 6-week trip through Thailand because we fear for their safety and worry that something terrible will befall them. This irrational fear keeps us from living life to its fullest. Instead of eagerly anticipating the joys of new experiences, we put up roadblocks for ourselves and for those close to us. Instead of expecting a negative outcome, why don’t we anticipate a positive result, which is more likely anyway? How we tend to shortchange ourselves when we catastrophize.

My brother added another layer to this consideration by turning my attention to the biochemical responses in the brain that occur when we catastrophize. He pointed out that the brain tends to respond in the very same way whether we are experiencing something in real life, or whether we are holding an image of it in our future mind or a past memory. Fascinating! If this is true, we can create healthy biochemical responses by remembering and planning positive activities and experiences for ourselves. Not only do we get to experience a long-planned trip to Thailand, for instance, we can also experience the same cortisol and adrenaline rush from that trip every time we remember it, or plan ahead for it expecting the best! What a gift we can give ourselves by putting this into action! On the other hand, if we tend to expect a negative outcome, we end up living a bad situation in our brains first, and maybe a less fulfilling actual experience when it actually comes to pass.

As a person with Parkinson’s (PWP), I really need to be aware of this bit of truth. Because of the new and often unfamiliar symptoms I experience due to Parkinson’s Disease, I sometimes find myself catastrophizing and expecting a situation to be negative. I may not necessarily think it will turn out badly, but that it won’t be good enough to warrant my effort. When I’m physically fatigued and not moving well, it is often difficult to make myself go to an event. However, I need to remind myself to approach that event with the positive expectation that it will be fulfilling and more than worth the effort it took to show up. There are joyful, meaningful surprises at every turn we take in life. Will we seize them by showing up with positive expectation? Or will we miss out on them because of negative catastrophizing? It’s a daily decision we all need to make.

728 words
Day 11: August 10, 2023
Success!