Words matter; labels; disabled; sick; differently abled

Words matter. The more I write, the more careful I need to be with my word choices. I try to be specific and exact so I convey the precise message in the right manner. Words matter, especially when we label things. We can’t seem to escape labels, but we have to be aware of the emotional punch they pack. For example, I learned recently that we should refer to issues of mental health, not mental illness. This makes perfect sense, and knowing this can prevent some unintended hurt and emotional stress for those around us. Today I was on the receiving end of a label that gave me pause and made me think. The word choice did not hurt me emotionally, but it did provide me with something to obsess over!

Recently a friend, who is about as caring and thoughtful as one can imagine, mentioned something to my wife about my being “sick”. I was surprised at this word choice, and wondered what I had! Had I contracted a cold or flu? Or was I suffering from a headache? All flippancy aside, I knew she was referring to my Parkinson’s Disease. My mind raced as I considered different words and their meanings. Was I sick? I don’t feel sick. What about disabled? No, I can do stuff. Differently-abled? Too cumbersome. How about saying I have a condition? That says a lot without saying anything. Or an illness? That’s about like saying that I’m sick. What is Parkinson’s and what am I, now that I have it?

As I tried to talk this through with my wife (who was being very patient with me), I tried to pay attention to what I felt with each word. “Sick” made me feel like I should just go back to bed and not be around anyone. “Disabled” made me feel like I need assistance to do just about everything. “Differently-abled” made me feel a little confused and well…different. Maybe a “condition” is good since it’s likely not contagious, and people just adapt to conditions. Kind of like a broken arm…it doesn’t totally stop you, but you have to adapt for a while.

In addition to how I feel about these words, I became aware of how others might feel about me if I am described with these words. I may greet the day with a good amount of strength and positivity, but someone who believes I’m “sick” may not notice the change in my countenance from day to day. Someone who knows me as “disabled” may treat me more cautiously than otherwise. I may be sidelined because of their perception of me, as indicated by a label. If I am “handicapped”, then people may relate to me in the same manner as if I were “disabled”. Is one better than the other? I’m not sure.

Living my life as a privileged, white male, I have been largely unaware of the complexity of labels. I have always lived my life in a limitless manner, believing I could do anything I set my mind to. Now that I have disability accommodations at work and use a handicapped parking placard in my car, I am aware of other people’s perceptions of me. I’m beginning to realize how others feel when society limits them due to their personal characteristics. How unfair of us to place any limits on anyone. I want to be in charge of my own limitations and drive that train, even though I might be too “sick” to do so!

592 words
Day 21: August 20, 2023
Success!